


Hate This And I'll Love You

by satanic_horsemen



Category: Football RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood and Torture, Blood and Violence, Everyone Is Gay, Hybrids, M/M, Magical Creatures, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-12 09:25:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9065788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satanic_horsemen/pseuds/satanic_horsemen
Summary: In the world of Dustlight, vampires and werewolves have been at war for thousands of years. Little did the werewolves know that the vampires have discovered a way to make one both a werewolf and a vampire. They called it a hybrid. The first hybrid, Mats Hummels, has received the task to spy on the werewolves, thus act like he's one of them, to figure out their weaknesses, so the vampires can defeat them once and for all. Mats feels honoured to have been picked by the all-mighty leader of the vampires, Miroslav Klose, and is determined to fulfil the task given. Until he meets a certain werewolf called Benedikt Höwedes...The fact that another group mythical creatures from afar is about to enter Dustlight isn't quite helpful.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrandmrslegendary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrandmrslegendary/gifts).



> I'm back again with a brand-new fanfiction! This is a huge AU, about a long war between vampires and werewolves. I really hope you guys like it! 
> 
> This is the prologue, which can be skipped but I encourage you to read it! 
> 
> Enjoy:)

Miroslav Klose walked around the room, his hand placed on his chin, showing his nervousness and hope for what he was about to find out.

“Sir, you need to calm down. Once he knows, he’ll tell us,” one of his nationals, Erik Durm, spoke. “He knows how important this is to you, my lord.”

That didn't calm Miroslav down, however. “He should have been done an hour ago! How long does something like this take?”

Long, he knew that. This was the most important yet most dangerous experiment he had ever done, and Miro's hopes weren't that high for it to succeed. He had done lots of research, sure, but the chance of it actually working was tiny.

“If Lewandowski doesn't come here in five minutes, I'm going to him to check if everything's alright,” Miroslav decided. He knew that this was an idiotic idea, and that Erik would forbid him to do that.

Erik Durm was his advisor and his confidant. If something was going on, Erik was the first person he'd tell. He knew all the strengths and weaknesses of both the realm of the vampires and Miroslav himself. But the latter didn't mind, for he had full confidence in the boy. He was like his son, and Miroslav felt some kind of responsibility to protect him at all costs, even if it meant to sacrifice himself. It hadn't come that far, of course not, but if this experiment worked, who knew what would happen next?

“Sir, that is way too dangerous. You know what Robert told you, if someone else comes in, it could end fatally.” Erik shot a piercing look at him, and Miroslav knew that he was right.

“Alright, son. I won't go to Robert.” He sighed and sat down on his settee.

“I understand why you're worried, sir,” Erik whispered. “But we both know Robert, and we both know that he knows what he's doing. This is very unlikely to work, I know that, but we've got to trust him, be optimistic, that is.”

Miroslav smiled; that kid always said the right things at the right time. “Alright. I'll stay here.”

Erik grinned, seeming rather proud of what he had accomplished. His blue eyes were bright in the light of the fireplace next to him.

“Could you ask little Joshua to get me something to eat? Waiting like this makes me hungry.”

Erik nodded and walked toward the door immediately and obediently, yet stopped when Miroslav called his name.

“And Erik?”

“Yes, my lord?” he hesitantly answered, not knowing why he was so frightened.

“Get some rest, you've had a long day. You need to get some sleep.”

Erik nodded and looked at his leader one last time before leaving the room. “Of course, my lord.” Then he disappeared.

Miroslav still remembered the day when he had bitten Erik, when the latter had become one of them. It was a couple centuries ago, Miroslav didn't remember exactly when, but he remembered how and where. He remembered it precisely and could play it in his mind.

It had been a cold winter day, somewhere in December probably. Miroslav had been one of the creatures of the night for twelve years, spending all this time alone for there had been no one like him. The one who had bitten him had died shortly after, at least that was what Miroslav had heard. He didn't know whether it was true or not, but he had believed it because there was nothing else to do.

Miroslav had taken a walk downtown, as he needed to get away from everything for it had become too much. He had had no one to share his burden with.

While walking, he had seen a young boy crying. That boy had looked so vulnerable and had shaken uncontrollably. Miroslav had walked to him instantly because he had felt drawn to him, but not in a romantic way.

“Are you alright?” Miroslav had asked, and the young boy had looked back immediately because he hadn't expected someone talking to him.

He had wiped away his tears quickly, and had nodded. “Y-yeah, I'm okay,” he had responded.

But Miroslav hadn't bought it. “Are you certain? You look like you've just lost a loved one.”

The boy had smiled a sad smile. “I haven't lost a loved one recently. The reason why I'm crying is stupid. I wouldn't want to bother you with it, sir.”

Miroslav had smirked. “Don't call me sir, I'm not that old, right?” The boy in front of him had smiled again, more genuinely this time. “You can tell me, I'm all ear.”

“But I don't even know you, si--” He had stopped before he had said the word, but Miroslav had seen through him.

“What's your name?” Miro had asked.

“Erik,” the young lad had answered with a sniff.

“Pleasure to meet you, Erik. I'm Miroslav Klose.”

After that, the two of them had talked frequently. Both of them seemed to understand each other well, and Miroslav had helped Erik with his problems.

The reason why he had cried was because he had felt left out when he was with his friends. Erik had been the odd one out, and his peers had laughed at him for it.

That's when Miroslav had decided to offer him the bite.

 _You will never have to fear their reaction ever again. You will be stronger and more powerful than them_ , he had said.

Erik hadn't hesitated and agreed upon it instantly. He hadn't even looked up when Miroslav had told him about vampires and the other magical creatures that existed, as if Erik had already known.

Not much later Miro had given him the bite. He had been scared of how it would turn out, of how Erik would react to it, if he would even survive.

But Erik had woken quickly, had had red eyes and had looked exhausted. “Did it work?” he had asked.

Miroslav had sighed. “There's only one way to find out.”

-

Miroslav smiled thinking of that memory, thinking of how he had made Erik's life much better. That's what he wanted for everyone of his kind, to find their peace.

“Sir, you've asked for my presence?”

Miro looked up and saw Joshua standing in the doorway. “Yes, I have. Did you get what I asked for?”

Joshua nodded and handed over the plate filled with the most luxurious and most delicious foods there were. A perfectly cooked deer, which looked very inviting, had smoke coming from it. Miroslav's mouth began to water.

“Thank you, Joshua. You can go now.” He waved him goodbye and was left alone a second later.

He wasn't alone for long, though, as Robert Lewandowski stormed into the room, his expression unable to be read until he started speaking.

“Sir, it worked! It worked!” Robert exclaimed.

Miroslav jumped out of his settee and spilled everything on it, while he didn't care. He was too thrilled to care about something like that. He jumped in the air and laughed.

“You're a hero, Lewandowski. Thank you!” he yelled. “You will get a huge reward for this!”

Robert smiled. “Thank you, sir Klose. Do you want to see it?”

Miroslav nodded and walked with him. He felt the urge to storm into Erik's room and tell him the good news, but Miro knew that he needed rest. So he left him alone.

They entered the room in which Robert had worked on their secret experiment, and Miroslav could already see the man sitting there, seeing solely his back as his face was turned to the other direction.

He wasn't moving, but he was alive, and that was all that mattered to Miroslav. He walked towards him slowly, the man still not moving a single muscle.

When he stood in front of him and kneeled down, he looked at the man's face. Dark brown curls covered his forehead and a part of his eyes. He looked down, his hands crossing on his lap.

Miroslav grabbed a chair and sat down in front of him. “Are you alright?” he asked.

The man looked up and stared into Miroslav's eyes, and then the latter noticed the indescribable fear in his eyes. Of course the man was afraid. He had just had the biggest transformation of his life, but all out of free will.

“I'm fine,” he puffed. “It worked, if that's what you want to know.”

Miroslav blinked. “How are you sure?” Had the man already tried something that Miro didn't know of?

“Look in the closet.” Then he broke the eye contact.

Miroslav stood up, but waited a moment before opening the closet door. He thought about the man - Mats - knocking on his door, begging him to be the man to be experimented on. Miroslav hadn't known how Mats had heard, but found out after he'd had a long talk with him, about his past and his dreams.

Mats used to be a werewolf, an omega, to be exact. He hadn't had any werewolves around him, he was alone. That's probably why he wanted to become the thing he had become now, because he wanted to belong somewhere. And god, was he glad it had worked.

Miroslav opened the door and saw a body of a young woman, fully drained, eyes opened, staring into the void. She was clearly dead, and Miroslav saw the bite marks on her neck, some of the blood still flowing out of it.

He turned around and looked at Mats, who couldn't even look at the woman he had murdered. He had to kill her, however, for it was part of the process of becoming a vampire, or in his case: a hybrid.

That was when the first hybrid was created.

Miroslav smirked and couldn't be more proud of himself. He turned his attention to Mats once more.

“You know what you've got to do, right?”


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to say that while writing the first half of this chapter, I wasn't exactly inspired by my "writing voice". The first half isn't the best I've written but the second half is better in my opinion. I hope you like this 
> 
> Enjoy!

  
Julian Draxler woke up slowly after hearing the creaking of his door. He sat up immediately and met the eyes of Erik, who had walked in.

“I'm sorry to have woken you,” he began. “I just wanted to let you know that Mats is going to leave soon. I figured you would want to say your goodbyes since he has become your friend.”

Julian rubbed his eyes. “Yes, you're right. Thank you, sir.” He hated being formal like this but he had to, it was just the way things went in Dustlight. You had to respect your leader and their persons of trust.

But that didn't count for Erik apparently.

“Please, call me Erik,” he smiled. Before Julian could even answer, Erik spoke once more. “I insist.”

Julian furrowed his eyebrows but then smiled. “Alright, Erik. If you don't mind, I'm going to change now. I will see you in the meeting room downstairs?”

Erik blushed, but Julian didn't know why. “Yes, I will see you there. Good day, Julian.”

“Good day.”

Erik closed the door behind him and walked downstairs. Why did he have to blush? He was giving himself away. Yes, he was in love with one of the lowest people in the vampire community, but frankly, he didn't care about status at all. Anything was alright, only if it wasn't a werewolf.

Erik despised them, for what he'd learnt from Miroslav in his early years of vampirism, werewolves were vicious creatures. Erik didn't want to have anything to do with them, so when Miroslav had suggested to make Mats Hummels a hybrid, Erik had freaked out.

 _They cannot be trusted!_ he had said. And he had meant it. Werewolves were dangerous, and as much as he hated to admit it, they were a threat to Miroslav's realm as well.

Still he managed to be in love with the boy who was friends with the hybrid. He wasn't supportive of it, not at all, but if he wanted to get closer to Julian, he had to accept the fact that Julian had no big problems with their kind. At all.

Erik sighed and waited for Julian to show. He was alone in the room for it was rather early. He wished he could talk to someone.

Which he could, because Julian has just entered the room.

He looked utterly beautiful, his hair perfectly combed, his face washed and his gorgeous clothes falling beautifully onto his body. He smiled at Erik, and god, did Erik love that smile.

Erik didn't even notice smiling back, until Julian looked quite uncomfortable because of the silence. This was Erik's cue to talk.

“Mats is in the ballroom,” he said. Julian furrowed his eyebrows again, but Erik began to talk again. “Don't ask me why. I think he likes dancing.”

Julian smiled. “Alright, I'll go see him. Thank you, Erik.” He made a quick bow and then left the room, leaving Erik blushing and dreaming again.

Julian entered the ballroom and saw Mats standing in front of a big mirror, fixing his hair by himself instead of asking for one of the maids.

Mats hadn't noticed Julian coming in until the latter cleared his throat. The hybrid turned around and looked at Julian, and smiled.

“It will be a while until you see me again, Julian,” he stated. The both of them knew that this task was dangerous and risky, and that he may not even come back alive. Still Mats wanted to fulfil this task.

“I know,” he answered. He sat down on one of the settee's and sighed. “Are you certain that you want to do this?”

Mats nodded and attempted to come over as determined, but Julian saw the look in his eyes. “Yes, of course. It's the perfect plan and it can only turn out alright.”

Frankly, Julian didn't want him to leave. Not only because he was his friend, but also because he gave the best advice in the entire realm.

“I suppose,” Julian said. “Just be careful. I know that you've had lots of practice the last few months on how not to show your vampiric side, but it's still dangerous. One wrong thing and you cou--”

“Julian, calm down. I know what I'm doing, and I know it's dangerous, but I know what to do in case of emergency, and I know how to act like a werewolf. I've been one for my entire life.”

“But what if they can smell that something's off? That could be a problem too.”

“Jule, calm down. Everything's taken care off,” he said.

Julian didn't know what to say. He felt like it was time to say goodbye but saying goodbye was his biggest fear, because most of the time it meant that you would never see that person again.

“I believe it's time for me to go,” Mats said to break the heavy silence. “I'm going to miss you, Julian.”

Julian nodded. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, but he refused to let them stream down his face. He had to be strong, because if he cried now, he wouldn't be able to stop. “Y-yeah, I suppose. Uhm...”

“Julian, take care, alright? You're like my little brother and I need you to be safe. When I come back, I want you to be alive and I want you to be waiting for me.” Mats grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. Saying ‘when’ instead of ‘if’ was oddly comforting, even though Julian knew that the second was the accurate one.

“I think it's you who needs to be safe,” he whispered in Mats’ shoulder. “I'm going to kill you if you die.”

“Then I'll be dead twice,” Mats answered, grinning. He pulled away from the hug and smiled genuinely. “Never stop chasing your dreams, Julian. You have a lot of talent and potential, you can become whatever you want, only if you believe.”

Without Mats ‘Always Optimistic’ Hummels, Julian didn't really have a positive influence around him.

Except Erik.

But Julian was too afraid to speak to him because Erik was Miroslav's advisor, which meant that he was one of the most powerful people in the realm. If Julian did only one thing wrong, he would be executed.

But on the other hand, Erik seemed so kind. Deep inside, Julian knew that Erik wouldn't judge him that fast.

He turned his attention back to his friend, and realised that it was really time for him to go. But any time was too soon.

“It's time to go,” Julian spoke, looking at the ground. “Goodbye, Mats.”

“Goodbye, Julian.”

-

Julian had waved Mats goodbye as he rode away on his horse. He still felt empty and nerves were playing with his mind as he slowly began to realise that Mats coming back alive was very unlikely. He didn't want to think about it, but that particular thought wouldn't leave his head.

He decided taking a walk through the woods might help take his mind off of it. One of the advantages of being a vampire was that he didn't need a coat for warmth. He could basically walk around without his shirt yet would not get cold.

Thus he emerged from the enormous castle in which he lived with everyone who had some connection to Miroslav, their leader. Julian's connection was his job. Miroslav and Julian's father had been very good friends, and when the latter died, Miroslav had promised him to give Julian a good place to live.

That didn't come without a price, of course. Julian had to work hard every day for Miroslav, had to do chores all around the castle whereas people like Erik could do nothing all day, except if something happened. Then he would have to be in the room of the council every second of the day, advising his leader.

Julian was grateful for that every day, otherwise he would have most likely lived in the outskirts of the realm. His father had passed away when Julian was only a little boy, so he didn't remember much of him. His mother was out of the picture. Julian had been conceived when both his parents were still human, for vampires cannot get pregnant. After that, Miroslav had bitten Julian's father. The first month of him being a vampire was hard, because he had had constant hunger and bloodlust. One night, Julian's father had gone too far, and had killed his wife, Julian's mother.

Julian used to hate his father for it, but after he had been bitten himself, he had understood what he had been going through.

Julian got bitten by Miroslav, too, at the age of nineteen, for that was the minimum age of becoming a vampire in this realm. He had learnt all about them and their history as he had lived in Miroslav's castle his entire life. He had been very excited to become one of them after so many years. All his life he had just observed them, feeling a brick of envy in his stomach because he wanted to be like them: immortal, fast, strong, powerful.

It was a well-known fact that one needed to drink the blood of a human to fully become a vampire. And that's what he did when he had received the bite. He had killed an innocent person. Why? He didn't know. He could have drunk the blood of someone bad, but still he murdered an innocent.

He was so far in the woods now, but he knew exactly where he was. The woods were like a safe haven for him, a place where he could quietly think on his own, or just do nothing at all.

He sat down by a river and saw his own reflection in the clear water. He looked exhausted whilst there was no sign of actual fatigue within him. He wasn't tired, he was afraid.

Suddenly he heard the sound of footsteps approaching, and he turned around in a hurry.

“Hello?” he said loudly. He received no answer, which made him annoyed. He decided to ask again. “Hello? Someone there?” Again, no answer.

He turned back around in ignorance but was met with the greatest shock of his life.

He saw Manuel Neuer on the other side of the river, a grin on his face, blood visible on the corner of his mouth.

“Didn't expect to see me here, did you, Draxler?” he said. He kneeled down and put his hand in the water, then cleaned his face from the last bits of blood left.

Julian couldn't answer. He had always been a bit scared of Manuel. The latter was... not the nicest person around, to say the least. He was one of those vampires who killed people for pleasure, and Julian didn't understand why Miroslav accepted those people in their part of Dustlight. Killing innocents was off limits, and just because humans were mortal and would all die one day, didn't mean that it was okay to kill them before they had even had the chance to live.

“Are you going to answer or?” Manuel spoke.

Julian still looked at Manuel in fear. This was the first time they had ever been alone, without anyone else to protect Julian from him. Sure, Julian was strong, but not half as strong as Manuel. The latter had had practice for about forty years while Julian had only been a vampire for twelve years.

Julian hadn't even noticed that Manuel was standing next to him now until he felt breathing in his neck. He turned to face him immediately and recoiled.

It only took a few seconds before Julian realised that he could just run away. He had supernatural speed, and inside the castle he would be safe.

So that was exactly what he did.

Only a second later he was in the castle again, and he went to his chambers. He locked the door behind him, knowing that it wouldn't help a bit since vampires could break it open in only a split second.

But for some reason he felt safe. He sat down on his bed - not king-sized, as explained in the old tales about vampires, but just a normal bed - and sighed.

He was worried about Mats, about if Thomas Müller - the leader of the werewolves - was going to fall for their lies, if the plan was going to work, if Mats would even survive.

But deep down he knew that Mats was a fighter, and now he was stronger than any other creature in Dustlight. He had been surprised when he saw that Miroslav wasn't even scared of him, when Mats could kill him in one second.

Miroslav had never been the type to get scared or to feel threatened very easily, which were rather important qualities for a leader. That was why Julian would never lead anything, just an expedition nor something enormous like an entire realm, he couldn't do it. He was too gentle, too innocent. He didn't have the guts to kill someone if necessary.

The innocent he had murdered when he became a vampire was the only one he had ever killed.

And he felt peaceful about it, because inside he still felt human. Sure, he was happy with his supernatural powers, but in his heart he still considered himself human.

Being scared of Manuel was proof of that. Fear was a human emotion.

There was a knock on the door which interrupted his thoughts. Julian was silent for a second, hoping that the person on the other side of the door would introduce themselves, which he did.

He had been in the woods for at least four hours, and had been in his room for a rather long time as well, which meant the day was almost over again.

“Julian? It's me, Erik,” the latter said with a sign of hesitance in his voice. “I thought I would let you know that we're going to eat. I was wondering if you could join us?”

Julian didn't answer but walked to the door and unlocked it. Erik slowly opened it and asked if he could come in. Julian nodded and only a few seconds later they sat across each other at the table in his room.

“I don't have much time though, dinner is starting in five minutes,” Erik began. “How are you feeling? Saying goodbye to Mats must have been hard.”

Julian admired how Erik said the hybrid's name without any sign of disgust. Erik hated werewolves, even if they were part vampire, yet still he managed to say the name gently, as if for Julian.

“It was hard, yes. But saying goodbye is a part of life, isn't it?” Julian said.

“I suppose,” Erik answered. “Just don't get sad because your friend has left. It won't make you feel any better.”

“I know it won't.” He debated whether he should tell Erik about the meeting he had with Manuel in the woods. Little did he know that Erik was fully aware of what had occurred.

“If it makes you feel any better, there will be a ball next Thursday. Perhaps you can find some distraction there.”

“What's the ball for?” Julian asked.

“For good luck, of course!” Erik said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “That's what we did with our last ‘mission’ too. That didn't turn out the way we'd hoped, though.”

Julian wasn't even born when that last mission was in full motion. He had heard stories about it, about how it had turned into a failure and about how an awful lot of vampires had been killed in a rather... brutal way.

“I surely hope that the ball will work this time,” Julian said, thinking about Mats. He felt an emptiness inside him as Mats had become a good friend of his.

Erik must have noticed that Julian’s face had gone paler. “Julian, are you alright?” he asked. “Have you eaten today? I can get you some blood from our-”

“No, thank you. I'll eat something at dinner,” he interrupted the other.

“But you know that the food of humans won't fill your stomach. We only eat it for... Well, I don't know why. My point is, you won't feel better after you eat the food served at dinner.”

“I'm really not in the mood for blood right now, Erik.” It still felt weird calling him by his first name, but he just had to get used to it, perhaps. He sighed.

“Is something wrong? Besides mister Hummels leaving, of course,” Erik asked with such gentleness in his soft voice.

Julian doubted whether Erik would care about his meeting with Manuel in the woods, and it wasn't even that special, thus he decided not to tell him.

“No, everything's alright.” Even though Erik had showed how kind he was, Julian still felt slightly uncomfortable around him, as though he was having a conversation with a king, just like in the tales his father used to read to him.

“Shall we go downstairs then? Perhaps the food will make you feel better,” Erik said smiling.

“Of course, but I don't need anything to feel better, Erik.”

Erik waited for a moment. “Perhaps you need _someone_ to feel better.” Then he looked down as if he'd said something outrageously insane, which was slightly accurate in Julian’s eyes. Julian didn't even notice the red blush on Erik's cheeks until he found the courage to look at him.

Wait. Did Erik mean that he himself was the person to make him feel better?

No, that couldn't be it. Julian stood so low in the hierarchy of the empire that it was impossible for the leader's adviser to be in love with him.

All of a sudden Julian felt so uncomfortably numb. He found himself staring at Erik, unable to stop. But he wanted to stop. He wanted to run away as far as possible. There was this feeling in his stomach but he didn't know what it meant, what it could mean, and it scared him. It scared the hell out of him. One part of his brain screamed at him, begged him to run away but the other part whispered that he should stay where he was, and that he shouldn't move a muscle.

And somehow the whispers were heard better than the screams. Because the whispers weren't so fond of drawing attention, whereas the screams craved for attention. But that didn't work. Because even though the screams were much louder, the whispers were solely to be heard.

Erik broke the heavy silence. “I apologise, that was an inappropriate thing to say.” He was still blushing, and Julian knew that he really meant it. “I suppose it's time for dinner.”

Julian found himself able to nod, and he followed the blond who was going downstairs. His hair bounced up and down as he walked. Julian had the urge to touch those fluffy locks with his own fingers.

He pushed away that thought immediately.

Yet he couldn't manage to think about other things whilst eating dinner with everyone else. He kept staring at his plate - still full of food - and pay attention to the thoughts in his mind.

He was attracted to men, he knew that. Granted, Erik was a very handsome young man, but Julian had never imagined falling in love with him.

If that was even what he was doing.

He could just be imagining things. He could easily be hallucinating. He wasn't in love with Erik, nor would he ever be. That feeling in his stomach he had whilst being around Erik was just because of the nervousness. Yeah, that was it.

He stopped thinking about it after that. He started eating his food and chatting with the people around him, until something else happened.

“For the love of God, Joshua! Can't you do anything right? You spilled my drink, you bloody nincompoop!” It was Manuel screaming at poor Joshua, one of the human servants in the castle. “It's always the same with those humans. Can't do anything right, they can only screw things up.”

Joshua looked so close to crying that Julian was surprised he hadn't collapsed yet. He didn't deserve the treatment Manuel was giving him. Joshua looked guilty and it seemed as if he believed that he deserved everything that was thrown at him. After all, vampires were superior to humans.

Julian hated those stereotypes. Yes, vampires were stronger and faster than humans but deep inside he longed for that feeling to actually feel alive, to feel like a mortal did.

No sooner had he stood up than he realised that there was no going back now. Everyone's eyes were on him, expecting words to come out of the dark-haired boy's mouth.

Which did come, eventually. “Leave him alone, Manuel.” He was surprised by his courage, as he was so afraid of Manuel in the woods earlier. “He made a mistake, sure. But that doesn't mean that he deserves to be treated like shit. You're a fucking prick, you know that? I can't even believe what you're still doing here. I can't believe why Miroslav even allows you to eat in the same room as him. People who treat humans like that don't deserve the life you're leading.” He stopped talking after that. His courage had gone, like the air flowing out of an idling balloon.

Manuel was looking at him in shock at first, but then he began to laugh. He was _laughing_ , and that was one of the most frustrating things Julian had ever seen.

“I can't believe someone as unimportant as you is talking to me like that,” Manuel said. Suddenly Julian felt so small, as if he was a mouse and Manuel was an elephant that could step on him and crush him. Exactly how he had felt in the woods.

Manuel walked closer to Julian and stood so close to him that the latter could feel his breathing. “I could crush your skull in a second and rip your damn heart out. Think about that before you say something foolish again, pathetic little boy.”

Julian couldn't say anything but make a high squeaky noise and nod. Manuel laughed again, and Julian felt like he could die.

“If you don't leave this room now, I will make sure you will, and I will use violence if necessary ” It wasn't Julian speaking, nor Manuel. But it was Erik, who had stood up from the other side of the table and was looking crazily angry at Manuel. “And if you ever dare to say something like that again, you'll be banished. Is that clear?”

Manuel looked a bit upset, but still had a smirk on his face. “Alright, boss. I'll be in my chambers if anyone needs me.” He winked and then walked away.

Julian looked at Erik gratefully, or at least he was trying to. His face was frozen, just like his body. His eyes were fixed on Erik, who was looking concerned at him. He had this feeling in his stomach again, the same as when the two of them had seen each other before dinner.

“Are you alright?” someone asked him, but it wasn't Erik. He didn't know who it was, nor did he care. He couldn't focus on anything but Erik.

His hair was brown, which stressed his light green eyes in a beautiful way. His pale skin was a contrast to his dark blue clothes, with accents of black in them. He looked as if he was enlightened, as if he had escaped a magical fairy tale world. That was all Julian could focus on.

Then a small smile escaped Julian's lips, and before he knew it Erik smiled as well.

He entered the present again when he felt a hand on his shoulder. The hand of Mesut Özil. The latter was a nice man, and the conversations they'd had were mostly about leadership and plans on how to make the world better. Mesut had an awful lot of good ideas, but was too shy and introverted to say them to someone who actually mattered in the realm.

Julian looked at Mesut, who had also been the one to ask if he was alright, and nodded. “If you'll excuse me,” he said in general, mostly to Miroslav. “I'll be in my chambers if anyone needs me.” He said the same words as Manuel, but with a different meaning.

He left the room and was walking through the hallway. He wasn't alone for long however, as he was accompanied by Erik after only a few seconds.

The latter was walking next to him, and Julian found himself at a loss of words. Luckily, Erik spoke first.

“Are you okay?” He didn't even give Julian time to answer - which he probably wouldn't have been able to - and continued. “Manuel was being a jerk to you.”

“And to Joshua,” Julian said without a doubt.

“Yes, to Joshua too of course. But you're the one that matters right now.” They turned the corner to make their way to Julian's room. That was what Julian thought, at least.

_You're the one that matters right now._

That sentence was repeated numerous times in his head until Erik began to talk again.

“I want to make sure that you're okay and I promise you that this will never happen again. I am personally going to make sure that it won't happen again. You have my word.” Erik smiled at him again, that heart-warming smile that could rock Julian's whole world.

He had now realised that he was falling in love with Erik Durm.

He didn't know if he liked it or not, but he couldn't do anything to stop it. Love was uncontrollable and most of the time it wasn't that much of an issue, but Julian was in love with Erik Durm, one of the most powerful people in the realm. That could never end well.

“I know what happened in the woods,” Erik said suddenly. “And if please tell me if Manuel does as much as lay a finger on you because I promise you, I will crush him if he does.”

Julian stopped walking and looked at Erik, who had stopped walking as well. “How do you know?”

“I'm sorry but I can't tell you,” Erik whispered and Julian nodded because of course he wasn't allowed to know. He was just a nobody after all.

“Of course,” he answered. “It was a stupid thing to ask, I'm sorry.”

Erik shook his head. “Please don't apologise, this isn't your fault. It's just that telling you could be very dangerous.”

Julian furrowed his eyebrows. “How so?”

“Because someone could be eavesdropping, or could torture you for information.”

Julian was even more confused now. “Is it that bad?”

Erik nodded. “Yes, it is.”

They started walking again, and their was a silence guiding them through the hallways like a torch in a cellar.

They didn't say anything until they arrived at Julian's chambers. The latter was just about to open the door when Erik stopped him by grabbing his arm and pulling it away from the door.

“I like you,” he said, looking into Julian's eyes in a way the latter would have never done if he was the one making the confession.

“You what?” he managed to say. That feeling in his stomach was back again, stronger than ever.

“I think I'm falling in love with you,” the brown-haired boy said. Then he broke eye contact and blushed like he had never blushed before. Julian found it adorable.

Yet he wasn't able to find the right words. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. He stood still, like how a closet was pinned to the ground. He was exactly the same.

Erik looked at him in expectation and hope. But Julian was frozen; he couldn't do anything.

Until that particular smile appeared.

Erik gave him that smile again, that warm, gentle smile and suddenly Julian knew how to speak again. Erik's smile made him melt, away from the frozenness.

“Why?” he asked, and he truly meant it. Why would someone so powerful be in love with someone so small, someone who could be sent away any day because he was so replaceable and unimportant.

Erik was evidently confused. “Why?” he repeated, but differently than Julian. “Julian, sit down please.” It was convenient that there was a sofa near Julian's chambers. They walked that way and Julian sat down. Erik was still standing, though.

“Ever since you became a vampire, I've felt this weakness. And not only in my bones and muscles but also in my heart, my mind. The first time I had it I thought I was feeling a bit feverish. But I wasn't.” Erik looked at him for a moment and then continued. “I have never loved someone before. I had even asked advice for it because I thought it wasn't natural. Then I was told that vampires have a much harder time trying to find love. They... take much longer finding their soulmate because they have eternity to do so. I've been a vampire for about two hundred years. But until you became a vampire I didn't even think about love, I thought it was a weakness and a distraction from what was really important.”

He paused for a moment. Julian didn't know if he should say anything because the story couldn't be over. And it wasn't, as Erik continued again.

“You have a way of tickling my heart. Not only when you're close to me, but even when I'm alone I can't stop thinking about you. I know it's unnatural and perhaps a bit strange but it's the truth. I can't stop thinking about you and every time you're in my thoughts I feel so warm and safe.

“And one day I couldn't take it anymore. I had to know what was going on with me so I asked Miroslav for advice. He told me that it was love, and when I heard it I was stunned. Love? I was allowed to be in my chambers the rest of the day to think, and only at the end did I come to a conclusion. I was in love with you.”

That's when he stopped talking and looked at Julian, expecting an answer probably.

This time Julian could talk, and thus he did. “But I'm-”

“Perfect,” Erik interrupted him. “You are. Please don't say a word of how I'm one of the most powerful people and that you stand low on the ladder, because that doesn't matter. Love goes way beyond hierarchy and power. Love will conquer all one day.”

Julian nodded slightly. Was he supposed to say: ‘I love you too’? Or did he have to give a beautiful speech, like Erik had done? He didn't know what to do, so the two of them stood together in silence, very uncomfortable.

Julian felt awful for not saying anything. “I don't know what to say.”

Erik's smile disappeared and Julian began to have a hard time breathing without that smile. That had to be a sign, right? Of love? Finding yourself unable to breathe without the smile of the other was a sign of love. Yes, it was.

Now Julian knew for sure. He knew for sure that he was in love with Erik too. Those feelings in his stomach were butterflies and hurricanes of love. And he didn't have any problem with that.

Erik sat down next to him, the two of them not losing eye contact. The silence continued. Julian could see Erik's face so clearly now. He could see every little mole and freckle on his pale face. His eyes were the perfect shade of green. His hair was silky, so soft that Julian had a thought of being so small that he could sleep on that hair.

Erik started to lean in, and Julian began to panic. What was he supposed to do? Was he ready? Was it ev-

His thoughts were interrupted by soft lips on his. It felt weird at first, having lips belonging to another person on your own. But he got used to it after a few seconds, and it felt so right. He didn't think of anything else but Erik. He thought of his beautiful face, his beautiful hair, and his beautifully soft lips.

Like a hammer smashed onto his heart, someone cleared their throat. Julian pulled away immediately and looked at the person to whom the sound belonged.

Miroslav Klose.

Julian jumped up and recoiled from both Erik and Miroslav. The former looked so guilty, as if he had done something that wasn't appropriate. And Julian felt small again.

It was Miroslav who spoke first. “Can I speak with you for a moment.” Julian thought he was talking to Erik, but in vain. “ _Julian_.”

Julian looked at him, and so did Erik. The former nodded, and followed Miroslav hesitantly. It was as if Erik wanted to say one last thing, but didn't. And then Miroslav and Julian entered an empty room.

“Sit down, Julian,” he said, and Julian obeyed. “I need you to know something.” Julian was so scared, but curious about what he was about to say.

“I've known Erik for so long, and I've grown to care about him like a father.” He paused for a moment. “And your dad and I were very good friends too. Your dad was a good man, wouldn't do anyone harm. I hope you're the same way, Julian. It appears so - by what happened at dinner - but I want to know for sure. Erik has been through something really bad, and I don't want him to feel like that ever again. So if you hurt Erik in any way, I'll make sure you get it back twice as hard. Understood?”

Julian nodded fiercely. “Yes, sir.” He would never hurt anyone in his entire life, not even if it was his biggest enemy.

Miroslav smiled at him. “Good. Now get some sleep. It'll be a busy day tomorrow.” Then he left the room, leaving Julian by himself.

He sat like that for a while, but after a moment he longed for his bed. Thus he stood up and walked out of the room, into the hallway.

Erik had left, and Julian had kind of hoped that he would still be there. He glanced at the sofa on which they had shared their first kiss together for a moment. Then he entered his room and lay down on his bed. He closed his eyes.

Vampires were never tired, but Julian longed for the world of dreams, where he could dream about Erik the entire night.

He was already looking forward to that.


End file.
